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I lost 7kg since I got here, perhaps more. But I never really notice the difference until an event in Myer’s fitting room. Myer had a terrible, terrible sales thus I couldn’t resist the temptation to go there with B. Men’s department had reduced the price of already reduced items. So we took several clothing articles to try, since there is no limit to the amount of clothes that one can bring to the fitting room. We had to wait for quite a long time since all the fitting room were occupied, and when our turn came B suggested that we went in together to save time as the fitting room is large enough to fit in 5 people. I was quite reluctant at first but then I thought what the hell there's nothing much to see and there's nothing much that he hadn't seen.

B took two sizes of the same shorts. He couldn’t fit in the smaller one and to my surprise I could! I always feel that I was much heavier and bigger than him. Another surprise I had was all the clothes looked good on him but not on me. Then I realized that I had a negative perception of my own body image. This is what I should change.

At last, I managed to pet a kangaroo and a koala during my Dreamworld tour. The first time since I got here in Oz. In fact, the first time ever. Do you remember the last time you did something for the first time?

The most thrilling ride in Dreamworld was of course 'The Claw'. I was the one who was very excited about 'The Claw' among my friends but after the ride I just couldn't take any other rides because I was so dizzy, hungry and the heat was killing me. I ate such a big lunch; much to my embrassment when I found out that the other guys just ate light snack; and after lunch, I gave up all other rides for the fear of the consequences which I assume you guys can predict.

Anyway, here are some photos. Just look at that Tazzy Devil, it sleeps like my cat Bibuk...photos can be accessed here

Brissy city bus tour yesterday went very well and I had a pleasant time though I have to admit that socializing take so much of my energy. People puzzled me. I find it difficult to understand why people do the things they do. And I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time and place. So I had to exert so much energy in order to conform to society’s expectations and be ‘likeable’ though I didn’t really care about that I had to act in a certain level of accepted behaviors in order to mingle around people. Gosh…

Anyway, after reading this entry by Mon, I decided to tell the readers that I actually had shaved my head in November and had been completely bald since then. You can see my new look in the photos that I took when Nonie came to visit and during the tour. But of course during the tour I wore my cap all the time…

You can the the photos here.

Next semester I’m taking a drawing class. Yes!!! At last, I can have proper and formal drawing lessons. Of course, initially, I was quite anxious whether I would manage to even go through the class for one whole semester and whether I could get good grade. But now I don’t give a damn over grades anymore instead I feel quite excited about the whole idea of learning to draw. Besides I’m tired of logic, business process, programming languages, databases, sofware this and that, and anything the like.

I always think that I don’t have any talent whatsoever in drawing though my mom used to tell me when I was young that drawing is an acquired skill that can be learned and perfected with practice. My mom draws very well, she said mainly because she had a good teacher. She told me once when the garden in the palace Sultan of Kedah was opened to the public, she used to go there and draw the landscape. But of course, back then I firmly believed that I couldn’t draw and wouldn’t ever learn how.

In one of the book for the course I’m taking, I found out what my mom said is true. That’s why there is a saying ‘mom knows best’. LOL…now where are my sketchbook and pencils? I hope the excitement will last till the end of the semester ;-P

I just found out about JAWI and Jeslina Hashim controversy after reading Sevven.

Once I was asked whether a Muslim woman in Malaysia is allowed to swim in a public swimming pool. I found the question hilarious but I clearly explained that Malaysia is not an extremist Islamic country. Women in Malaysia don’t get beaten if they walk on the street without wearing veils. But it seems we are heading that way now, maybe if JAWI keep up their pace that will happened in the near future.

Now this makes me think of applying for PR, who knows...in case Malaysia do become an extremist Muslim country. Don’t know whether I will collect enough points though. Hmm…actually I was thinking of another title for this entry but the title was too blunt, but readers, I hope you know other not-so-pleasent words for 'lack of common sense', if you know what I mean...

My new roommate threw away my dishwashing sponge which I just used for three days and also my disposable wiping cloth which is not yet need to be disposed. And he replaced both things with his own – a thin green sponge and a tiny wiping cloth that I assumed he cut out from his blanket. The wiping cloth doesn’t even absorbed water. I expressed to him that I don’t like what he did but the damages had been done. He has no right whatsoever to throw away other people’s things, especially those that belongs to me. I am absolutely fine if he thinks that my stuffs are too filthy for him to use and he wants to use his own but he needs not to chuck away mine.

I knew for some this may be such a trivial matter. But I was questioning my fate last night as to why I still have to deal which such a matter at my age. I was questioning as to whether I will even had the chance to live alone and be at peace without other people poking here and there at my privacy. I lived in boarding school since I was 13. Back then, privacy level was zero and I really wished for a space that belongs to me totally without having me to conform to other people’s values and where other people won’t have the slightest chance to violate my values. I believe that I’m still deprived of that wish now, at the age of nearly 27.

A new housemate had arrived - a clean freak. I thought I'm the freakiest cleaniest freak, but oh boy!...I was wrong. Maybe I'm not a clean freak at all, cause no clean freak can ever invented a 'piling system'. I just can't stand dirty floor and dusty room. But it's okay for things to be strewn around for easier and faster access. 'Piling system with direct access method' is a more proper name for my household management system.

Another housemate is on the way. There goes my most delighful time of being alone...

Pros and cons...pros and cons...

Housework is a never ending story. It feels like it was just yesterday that I cleaned the floor but now it is dirty again. Dishes never stop piling up in the sink. If I want to eat, I must cook. And when I cook, I must wash the dishes afterwards. And then there is the laundry to be washed, hanged and folded. But now I just use 'piling system' for my laundry. Pile the dirty laundry in the laundry basket, and after washing and drying, pile the clean laundry on my study chair. How effective and convenience the system is! But of course I still need to iron my clothes since I can’t bear to wear wrinkled shirts. Sigh…

Once, I heard from someone that a man I knew divorced his wife. One of the reasons the man gave for his action was that when he got home from work his house was not in proper order and the wife rarely cooked his dinner. And his wife did nothing to maintain the household. His wife works from 9 to 5. They have 4 little children. For me, the reason the man gave is bullshit and full of crap! There maybe more than one reasons for couples to be divorced but I just cannot accept that a man said he got divorced because his wife didn’t do the household chores properly.

What did he expect? The wife has a career just like him but then when she comes home she still has to do the housework. Even for me who lives alone and don’t work from 9 to 5, housework can be tedious and boring. How does he expect a wife who has a career to do the housework with 4 little children in the house? If he wants the house to be in perfect condition then the wife will have to work 24/7. Gosh…is that a wife or a slave?

Last Saturday was my brother’s engagement day. I felt quite disappointed because I couldn’t attend the ceremony.

When I come to think of it, soon enough my brother will marry. And things will not be the same again. Both my brother and I went to boarding school at the age of 13. So we didn’t see much of each other throughout our adolescent years. Then both continued tertiary education. When my brother was already working I went to Shah Alam. In fact, we didn’t see much of each other all our lives. I think that is one of the reasons why we never had a fight. And I’m so thankful of this. And I hope we will keep this way forever.

However, things are about to change. My brother will soon have responsibility for his own family. I supposed things will be different during Eid too. My brother and I shared a room. And usually, during Eid eve, when we will surely both be at home, except for last year, and we would talk until late at night when we were supposed to sleep early so that we will not be late for tomorrow’s prayer. I would talk and talk about the characters of people I met and he would listen and be interested. I don’t think this will ever happen again.

My brother called me on his engagement day. He was waiting to pick up my family at his fiancé’s house. When he called I was lying on the sofa watching TV so I rushed upstairs to pick up the phone. Once on the phone, I felt so dizzy. I thought that it was because the room was so stuffy so I opened the window. Then I felt like I was going to faint. Out of breath, I tried to conceal my condition from my brother and tried to talk as normal as possible. But my brother noticed the change in my voice and asked what’s wrong. I couldn’t hide it any longer so I told him I was going to faint and at the same time holding on to the door frame to prevent myself from collapsing on the floor. I had to hang up and lie on the bed. I touched my face and I realized that I was sweating all over.

Several minutes later, still sweating and dizzy, I called my brother to tell him I was okay. Gosh, I felt so bad to make my family worried on my brother’s happiest day. Later my sister called and told me the ceremony went well. But the family of my brother’s fiancé had asked for the wedding to be held in August so that it coincides with the fiancé’s sister wedding. This means that I am going to miss the wedding too. But my family disagreed. From what my sister told me, both party agreed to discuss the matter at another time. But my mom told me that they had agreed that they must wait until I come back to have the wedding. Wonder if my mom was only hearing what she wanted to hear.

Hmm…my brother is not yet married, but it seems to me that, to other people my life has got nothing to do with my brother’s. I can predict how I will be ousted out of my brother’s life when he is already married.

I met Nonie during BTN course. I found out that her husband is my brother’s best friend during high school who always visited my brother at home. What a small world we live in!

Last Wednesday, I planned to go to Brissie to meet Nonie and her husband who came here from Melbourne but I had to cancel because of some work I need to do regarding my sponsorship. But to my surprise they managed to visit me at my place. I was so pleased with the visit. I was so glad that I found myself still smiling hours after they went back. At last, I got to meet people I knew from home after a long summer of solitude intertwined with intensive class and dull exam preparation.

They came with Dinie and her friends. Since the visit was not planned I didn’t prepare anything to entertain my most welcome guests. So I only served chips I just bought at the gas station and coffee. What a bad host I was. If only I still had the Adabi cucur mix. I was quite lazy to cook in these few days so I used up all the mix and ate cucur for breakfast, lunch an dinner. But I knew they would understand. Orang bujanglah katakan!

I was so glad to see them. At least seeing people I knew from home made me feel a little bit like going home to Malaysia even if for just a little while. Thanks Kak Nonie and Abg Ad...

I woke up this morning to the sound of a car honking. As the sun was piercing through the gap in the blind I thought I had overslept and the grocery delivery had arrived. Quickly I jumped out of my bed and looked at the clock. It was still 6.30. Who the hell was that? How could anyone be so inconsiderate to make such noise this early? Then there was a knock on my front door. ‘Maybe that is the grocery, but shouldn’t it arrive at nine?’ I thought in my confusion and drowsiness.

I went down in haste. There was a Caucasian male, shirtless, sweating and plump at the door. ‘My family is looking for Steve, is Steve here?” he asked in an accent, which I assumed to be European.

‘Steve? No he’s not here.’
‘Do you know where he lived? Steve…a black guy?’
‘No, I don’t know any Steve, certainly no Steve lives here’ I said trying to conceal my annoyance.
‘Who the hell is Steve? And black? What race does he considered to be black? Do Asians considered as black? If Asians are, then half of the people here are black.’ I thought, sleepy and irritated.

The man left. I locked the door and went upstairs. The honking continued but now accompanied by the sound of a man shouting, ‘Steve! Steve! Steve!’ I looked outside my window by pushing aside the blind large enough to conceal my face. The honking came from a red-wine coloured van packed with people, some of them were shirtless. One of the men in the van saw me and he turned cross. I wonder what they were really up to and why they were looking for Steve.

I found out later today that a PNG guy name Steve lived in my block before, but he had moved out. Hmm…I wonder what is the story behind all this but the simplest explanation (or perhaps assumption) is a bunch of students got drunk and came to find Steve. Whatever! None of my business anyway…

Anyway, my groceries arrived according to time and I’m satisfied with the service. Although the apples are not as fresh as I used to get at Coles or Woolworth but they are edible. I’m sure that I’ll buy my groceries online again….

At last, I found an online grocery store that deliver to my house. Yeah…this week I’m free from the turmoil of grocery shopping. No more bus ride with my two big green grocery bags. Being such a clumsy person, getting on a bus with two big bags in both hands and a bag pack on my back can be quite a difficult task, especially when I forgot to take out the ticket from my pocket before the bus arrives. Once, while on the bus heading home after doing groceries, a bottled garlic fell out of my bag and rolled to the back of the bus. I didn’t even realize it until a guy passed the bottle to me while he got down the bus. I was very embarrassed although I know it is so unreasonable to be ashamed of such a trivial incident.

Gosh…I never knew grocery shopping can be such a hard work. Back home, I could dump everything in the car when I went shopping. Now I have to think how much weight I dare carry on the bus without making a fool of myself or breaking my back or dislocating my shoulders…

Anyway, thank god for the existence of the online store. I hope I will not face any problem with the service it provides. Else, back on the bus again with my two green grocery bags!

I decided not to spend so much money on coffee anymore. So I made instant coffee in a flask and brought it to Uni along with my lunch box, my textbook, umbrella, and a stack of lecture notes which made my bag so heavy I think I could break my back.

While I was making coffee, I remembered an anecdote my brother told me that happened while he was still working in a three-star hotel. The Chief Minister of Kedah, Pak Tuan Syed Razak, came to the hotel one day with a bunch of people. Syed Razak ordered cappuccino, but the hotel only served traditional kampong-made Malay coffee and coffee from Nescafe’s instant coffee machine. The hotel doesn’t even have real coffee machine! Syed Razak was quite annoyed that the hotel didn’t have cappuccino, so the chef had to ask someone to buy a packet of instant cappuccino pronto. At last when the coffee was served, an elderly guy from the group that came with Syed Razak said:

“Saya pun nak kopi cina satu lah!” LOL

Ok...sitting here in the library gives me so much inspiration. Instead of concentrating on my study I did this digital art which was inspired by the library building. And hey, I changed my blog layout too ;P

My summer exam is on the 10th. I decided to study in the library instead of studying in the masters room. As if I really study. This morning I came as soon as the library opened at 9, then I relaxed a bit to let myself cool down after my tiring walk. Before I started to study I had my usual tall flat white at the cafe in the library. And tomorrow I'll get a free one...yea...

Just now the server was down. Using that as a reason for not studying, not that I need the Internet to study anyway, I decided to take some pictures of the library and post it here. There's an indoor garden in the library with a man-made creek. As I sit here in the postgraduate area, I can hear water flowing downstairs. What a lovely place to procrastinate...



view from postgraduate study area upstairs



downstairs...