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I want to talk about the day I went to Ekka. So what’s Ekka? Ekka is an exhibition in Brisbane in the month of August when all farmers, retailers exhibit their products. And there are games, farm animals, horse race etc etc

So I decided I had to go to Ekka this year. I missed last year’s Ekka. Since I got nobody to go with me I thought what the heck I just go alone. So I went alone, and it wasn’t much fun. Now I know that it is not fun to go alone to certain places. I’d be better off that day if I went to the museum or art gallery. So to make the day more fun for me, I resort to strawberry ice cream, food, shopping for things that I don’t need like a 7-inch Homer Simpsons plush toy and more strawberry ice cream.

Then it was too late for me to go home I would miss the bus I decided to stay at a friend’s house. We hadn’t seen each other for quite a while and when I met him at the train station, he put his arm around my waist instead of accepting my hand for a handshake. A bit embarrassed and didn’t know how to respond to his friendly gesture in a public space I put my arm around his waist too we walked like this for few minutes. The last time I walked like this with a friend is when I was in the primary school.

People here, it seems that at first when you got to know them, they really respect your private space and talk to you from miles apart. But after a semester of knowing each other, it’s okay to touch. I only shake hands with my friends back home. Even with my best friends. This one girl, when she saw me for the first time after the break, she suddenly hugged and squeezed me. I was stunned. She hugged me again when I went to the main campus for the open day. Didn’t know how to respond. I will never know how to respond.

I have a bit of free time now. So much to write but I don't feel like writing. This semester, I have to write in 2 other blogs for 2 studio courses that I'm doing. These blogs are called 'Reflective Journal'. So instead of bitching about my life in this blog, I did it in the other 2.

Ok, I'll write again...soon...hopefully.

‘Amran…aku sangka kita tak dapat berjumpa lagi…’

‘Begitu juga aku Azizah’

‘Lebih baik aku mati daripada menanggung siksa begini…’

‘Jikalau kau ingin mati, akupun tak ingin hidup Azizah. Tetapi lebih baik kita bersabar. Tuhan akan menolong kepada orang yang bersabar’

‘Nampaknya, tak guna kita bersabar lagi Amran…aku cintakan kau…bawaklah aku lari Amran.’

‘Tak boleh Azizah…’

I have another half an hour before presenting my research proposal. Thought I write a bit. Recently, I always got pissed off because people misunderstood what I say. I meant one thing and they understood another. This is not good when you are in academic setting. Like yesterday, I explained to S about the interaction scenario for my project, he understood something completely different from what I said. Gosh, didn’t he read my email? I know my spoken English is not that good. Geramla ni.

Last week, got an email from Di. She asked all students to pick up their last semester’s projects from the office. I went to the office, I really wanted my ‘lamb box’ back. I couldn’t find it there. Then I remembered it was last seen in the conference room. Asked Di about it. Di gave her access card.

So I went into the room and saw a pile of graphic design works in a corner. My lamb box was there too. And my invitation to M for my exhibition. As I was about to pick up my dear lamb box, I saw a notice written on an A4 paper – “For display in the library. Won’t be here long. Promise!”. Obviously from M. So I gave the access card back to Di, but seeing me without my fluffy lamb she asked me whether it was actually in the room. So I had to tell her about the notice.

But today, I saw graphic design works being displayed in the library. Couldn’t see my lamb box. Faux pas. I can't possibly ask Di for the access card to take my lamb back. Heartbroken. Makan hati. Sedih. I don’t know why this trivial thing seems so important to me. Tak cukup lagi ka dapat markah. Nak display pulak. I guess for once I want to feel that I’m good enough. Entahlah.

And today, had to sign a form giving consent to Uni to display my photo and work for the open day. Brian told me my aliens are going to be displayed at the main campus this Sunday. After the lamb box incident, I couldn’t care less. Obviously, the aliens were chosen because they are the only surviving species after presentation last semester. Apa2 lah. Dah tak peduli.

And still have a very vague idea of what to do for Studio 3. Hentamlah. AM forward another call for entries for installation. So I planned to submit my very hazy idea that I plan to use in Studio 3 for this entry. Mimpilah. I know I’m not good enough for this. Tak payah lah nak mimpi2 lagi. Habiskan master ni sudah.

To make me more depressed, I’m sick right now. I have muscular ache all over my body. Possibly I’m going to catch a fever. I think the weather may have something to do with this. During the day, it is summer, but at night the temperature can go as low as 4. Ada ka? And the weather girl said, “Spring is early this year but next week it seems that winter is making a comeback.” Ada ka? Ni yang rindu kat kampung halaman ni.