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See what I mean...

Thursday, November 17, 2005
stop at all jer...SELFISH!!!!!
wanted | 11.15.05 - 10:43 pm |

See what I mean? There are people who are non-bloggers, who probably have met me face to face, and they visit my blog probably on a regular basis, and they know all about me. The person who left that comment would probably be a regular visitor, if not why did he/she care so much whether I write or not? Why would he/she care if I’m selfish or not?

I remembered when I first started blogging. At that time, I was so eager to see if my blog had a high hit. And there were times when I feel like stopping when the hit is so low. I though why should I keep on writing when no one’s reading it.

After much coaxing (…hehehe…) some of my close friends started blogging. Then I have regulars. And the newsgroup where we usually met had almost died from then on. Well, maybe not almost died, but completely dead LOL!.

Blog is such a perfect medium of communication. Unlike email and newsgroups, it is less intrusive. If I were to complain or whine about my day at Uni in the newsgroups, and I write a hell long of an essay about how suck my life was, it would be inappropriate because not all people in the newsgroups would like to hear about it. They too have their own problems. Why would they want to receive an essay entitled ‘My Life Sucks’ in their mailbox one day and another essay ‘My Life Sucks Part 2’ the next?

But if I write in my blog, about my life and my opinions, I feel assured that there would be friends who read it, and they read it because they wanted to. But I also expose to the world some part of my personal life. Maybe I should censor myself. That’s the only way to keep on blogging and feel safe. But then this blog will not be that honest anymore.

I know that somehow or another, we censor ourself when we blog. We choose what to tell and what not to tell. But the problem here started when I wanted to tell only certain group people about something, which was not really appropriate for others to know. Because in my mind I assume that the only people that read my blog are my friends in the link list, I feel really shocked when people that I least expected know what I wrote in my blog! So I need some time to consider about this whole blogging thingy…

What to do?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I feel like I wanna stop blogging. There are people that I don’t really want them to read my blog, but they read it. It feels like I’m being stalked.

I don’t really like my blog to be read by non-bloggers who then when they meet me talk about what I wrote in the blog. I don’t like it when these people leave comments. But I do like occasional comments from bloggers who I do not know, because then I can get to know them by reading their blog. And of course, this blog is intended as a medium of communication for the bloggers in my link list. It is soothing to know that I can keep in touch with them.

And I like to read the Makcik Bloggers. This is Mak Andeh’s and from there you can read all the other Makcik.

Should I make this blog only accessible to members?

Menu hari raya

Sunday, November 06, 2005
“You're not one of those who believe the universe revolves around them are you?”

Well, sometimes I do tend to think of only of myself, especially when I have a problem. I tend to forget that there are other people who could be worse than I am.

Last week, I had an appointment with M. But he was on the phone when I went to see him. So I left. Half an hour later, he was still on the phone. I got a little bit angry and left. I came back 20 minutes later. M eyes were red and he looked tired and angry. Apparently, he did not have enough sleep. He had a problem with a certain uni computer system and he was trying to solve the problem.

And I feel bad when I got a bit angry with him. I acted as if I am the only person in the world who’s busy and have so much to do now. But M, despite the pressure he has from his work, still treated me kindly. He only asked me to give him 5 minutes to cool down. Kalau aku di tempat dia, aku rasa aku tak akan jadi baik macam tu. Hish jahat pulak aku ni.

Di Hari Raya, aku dapat sms dari Norm. Nampaknya dia tak raya jugak. Hari raya ke-13 baru tak ada flight. Kesian dia. Dia tanya aku, “Makan apakah di pagi raya?”. Tapi aku takda credit nak balas. Ini menu hari raya aku.

Breakfast: Bangun pagi, takda makanan kat rumah. Tak sempat nak beli grocery lagi. Datang Uni beli sandwich telur. Bancuh kopi kat dapur Uni.

Tengah hari: Mee segera yang memang aku simpan buat stock dalam masters room ni

Malam: Petang raya tu aku keluar beli grocery mingguan. Makan di Maccas…(org Malaysia sebut McD, org sini sebut Maccas, pelik lak bunyinya)

Itulah menu raya aku, sandwich telur, kopi, mee segera dan McD, amacam best tak?